Getting to Know You
...Getting to Like You, Getting to Hope You Like Me. (The King and I)
To work successfully together, one thing you need is to build a sense of
camaraderie. To that end, one of the first things I want you to do is to engage in a social or casual activity with your team. This might be something simple like grabbing coffee together at Mirabeau's or it might be something more ambitious like going bowling together. Whatever you pick, try to get to know one another a little bit and have fun.
You'll need to go beyond a social outing, however, in getting to know one another as co-workers. If you're going to successfully complete a challenging project together, you'll need to be honest with each other about your strengths, weaknesses, anxieties, prior good and bad experiences, expectations, work styles, levels of commitment, etc. You need to start working together to build trust and you need to communicate honestly about anything that you can anticipate might have a negative impact on the team.
I know that it's hard to be honest, especially about unpleasant things. For instance, you might secretly know that you're a procrastinator but not really want to admit that to your team members. Or, perhaps you are really self-conscious about speaking in front of other people, but you don't want to tell everybody in your team (because, remember, you don't like talking in public). Or, maybe you have a hard time letting go of control, particularly when your grade is on the line, and you are afraid you might, just possibly, become a tad bit controlling. Or, maybe you secretly feel that you are a terrible writer and you don't want everybody to immediately look down on you as the 'weak' link.
None of these things (or many of my own personality traits, for that matter) are easy to discuss honestly or are the kinds of things we like to advertise about ourselves. But if we are going to have a fighting chance of overcoming them, at least temporarily for this project, then we have to be brave and trust each other. Part of that challenge lies with the rest of the team to listen objectively and non-judgmentally, to remember that everybody has traits they are not proud of, that everybody is working through things, and that we are discussing behaviors and tendencies, not the worth or value of individuals. Treat your team members kindly and try to put yourself in their shoes when you hear them confess their oh-so terrible flaws.
Regarding revealing the ugly truth about yourself, here is an example of how a 'confession' might go:
I'm a procrastinator and it means that sometimes my work is not as good as I am
capable of producing. It makes me feel ashamed of myself and regretful whenever
I put off important work. I am working hard to overcome this quality, but it's
better if we know this up front and can address it intentionally. I've noticed that it
can help me to overcome my tendency to procrastinate if team members check in
with me to make sure I'm on track. Just knowing that somebody is watching me
and expecting something from me helps me to feel 'guilty' enough to push myself.
To communicate your concerns, past experiences, expectations, strengths and weaknesses, etc., have all your team members answer a series of questions, then bring your answers to a meeting, and read and discuss them.
Here is a list of questions that each team member should answer:
What kinds of teaming or group work experiences have you had in the past? Have they been positive or negative? How so?
What are your hopes and expectations for this project, and for the teaming experience? What are your fears and concerns?
What particular skills and talents do you think you bring to your team?
How would you rate your listening skills? Your ability to negotiate conflicts? Your ability to coach your peers? Your ability to keep people focused and on track? Your ability to evaluate others' performance?
Describe your work style. Do you tend to work on a project little by little or all at once, early or under a deadline? Do you work best with others or alone?
What would count as success on this assignment (eg. a particular grade, a particular level of quality, making all the other teams cry with envy), and what are you willing (and unwilling) to do to reach your goal? (Be honest. Every one of you is doing other things and will not put infinite time into this project, nor should you.)
What habits, traits, qualities, etc., of yours are you worried might interfere with a smooth teaming experience or successful completion of the project? (Be honest. Nobody is 'perfect' -- it's not a category that applies to human beings.)
What kinds of situations or environments, etc., tend to help you overcome your 'weaknesses'?
In what skills, abilities, and attitudes are you hoping to improve?
When you meet with your team, discuss these things in an effort to understand one another better and come up with solutions. You might find it more efficient to share your answers to your questionaire before meeting as a team, and then use the meeting time to discuss and brainstorm solutions to potential problems. Have the scribe or recorder of the meeting keep a record of what was discussed so you can use it for creating your Team Contract. And save each team member's answers to the questions above...you'll need them for the team contract.
© Amy C. Smith 2013
camaraderie. To that end, one of the first things I want you to do is to engage in a social or casual activity with your team. This might be something simple like grabbing coffee together at Mirabeau's or it might be something more ambitious like going bowling together. Whatever you pick, try to get to know one another a little bit and have fun.
You'll need to go beyond a social outing, however, in getting to know one another as co-workers. If you're going to successfully complete a challenging project together, you'll need to be honest with each other about your strengths, weaknesses, anxieties, prior good and bad experiences, expectations, work styles, levels of commitment, etc. You need to start working together to build trust and you need to communicate honestly about anything that you can anticipate might have a negative impact on the team.
I know that it's hard to be honest, especially about unpleasant things. For instance, you might secretly know that you're a procrastinator but not really want to admit that to your team members. Or, perhaps you are really self-conscious about speaking in front of other people, but you don't want to tell everybody in your team (because, remember, you don't like talking in public). Or, maybe you have a hard time letting go of control, particularly when your grade is on the line, and you are afraid you might, just possibly, become a tad bit controlling. Or, maybe you secretly feel that you are a terrible writer and you don't want everybody to immediately look down on you as the 'weak' link.
None of these things (or many of my own personality traits, for that matter) are easy to discuss honestly or are the kinds of things we like to advertise about ourselves. But if we are going to have a fighting chance of overcoming them, at least temporarily for this project, then we have to be brave and trust each other. Part of that challenge lies with the rest of the team to listen objectively and non-judgmentally, to remember that everybody has traits they are not proud of, that everybody is working through things, and that we are discussing behaviors and tendencies, not the worth or value of individuals. Treat your team members kindly and try to put yourself in their shoes when you hear them confess their oh-so terrible flaws.
Regarding revealing the ugly truth about yourself, here is an example of how a 'confession' might go:
I'm a procrastinator and it means that sometimes my work is not as good as I am
capable of producing. It makes me feel ashamed of myself and regretful whenever
I put off important work. I am working hard to overcome this quality, but it's
better if we know this up front and can address it intentionally. I've noticed that it
can help me to overcome my tendency to procrastinate if team members check in
with me to make sure I'm on track. Just knowing that somebody is watching me
and expecting something from me helps me to feel 'guilty' enough to push myself.
To communicate your concerns, past experiences, expectations, strengths and weaknesses, etc., have all your team members answer a series of questions, then bring your answers to a meeting, and read and discuss them.
Here is a list of questions that each team member should answer:
What kinds of teaming or group work experiences have you had in the past? Have they been positive or negative? How so?
What are your hopes and expectations for this project, and for the teaming experience? What are your fears and concerns?
What particular skills and talents do you think you bring to your team?
How would you rate your listening skills? Your ability to negotiate conflicts? Your ability to coach your peers? Your ability to keep people focused and on track? Your ability to evaluate others' performance?
Describe your work style. Do you tend to work on a project little by little or all at once, early or under a deadline? Do you work best with others or alone?
What would count as success on this assignment (eg. a particular grade, a particular level of quality, making all the other teams cry with envy), and what are you willing (and unwilling) to do to reach your goal? (Be honest. Every one of you is doing other things and will not put infinite time into this project, nor should you.)
What habits, traits, qualities, etc., of yours are you worried might interfere with a smooth teaming experience or successful completion of the project? (Be honest. Nobody is 'perfect' -- it's not a category that applies to human beings.)
What kinds of situations or environments, etc., tend to help you overcome your 'weaknesses'?
In what skills, abilities, and attitudes are you hoping to improve?
When you meet with your team, discuss these things in an effort to understand one another better and come up with solutions. You might find it more efficient to share your answers to your questionaire before meeting as a team, and then use the meeting time to discuss and brainstorm solutions to potential problems. Have the scribe or recorder of the meeting keep a record of what was discussed so you can use it for creating your Team Contract. And save each team member's answers to the questions above...you'll need them for the team contract.
© Amy C. Smith 2013
